Wednesday, May 26, 2004


That was so funny. Yeah just fucking hilarious, it's some like deranged practical joke. I've talked to him since the gun incident right? I couldn't even remember I almost expect him to be there when I get home, and I don't remember every time we've talked. But yeah I must have talked to him since then, yesterday though he completely blew me off. So not only was I dragged to a surprise party at some schnazzy restaurant, looking like crap because no one told me that there was going to be a party! That doesn't matter though I sat there the whole time, Evan, that darling, completely blew me off! I don't know why I mean Tara wasn't there, and I talked to her like a couple days ago and explained (well a little) about the gun thing and she was totally okay with it, so it wasn't her, we've talked since then!! He didn't really mention it, he didn't seem to care, and I admired that and respected that but what am I supposed to think when he won't even give me the time of day?

So now I feel more so alone than ever as cliché and emo as that sounds that was the only way I could describe last night. I felt so alone, it seemed I was the only one who thought we should have all been sad...this was her day, I mean I put a lot of significance to birthdays and...it felt wrong that instead I was attending a surprise party for my parents broken marriage....

Speaking of, yeah their marriage is dead and gone, I don't know why they just don't get divorced, she's been hospitalized for a suicide attempt once already and now this. So what happened was:

They had a really good day yesterday they stayed up late watching movies and soaking up the positive attitude I kept Sahith out of the way we both went to bed at around 12 (that's when we got back from the restaurant) and he slept pretty soundly (I think, I was out like a light I was dead tired) but today oh my geez. Yeah all morning they were radiating joy but then he made fun of her cooking he asked why it was burnt and she started going on about okra or something that was frozen whatever in the middle he said something along the lines of

"okay okay you don't need to say anymore my god!"

And that's it. They fought, she lost, we sat. She sulked off. And that's where we should've done something. Nope. She tried to OD this time (better than last time I guess) she said she took only two. I gave a lecture and a pep talk to my dad the poor guys this whole year had been filled with loss and disappointment for him, no wonder he works 24/7.

whatever they're at the hospital now sahiths being a doll and Im glad

Im also glad that I've got Joe, he's such a doll, and I love him so

Id say more and more but the house is a mess I better clean if I want my wrist attached when she gets back
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