Sunday, June 13, 2004

It's worth everything but I wish it didn't. Today so far has found me a couple Friday's back but before we get into that how about last night...so hold up while I rewind.
-Last Night
Well I wasn't totally psyched about it to begin with, but I was kind of excited when I got home, I like the feeling of walking home in the streaming afternoon sunlight, to find myself alone, in my humbly small house. I was repainting my nails pink while watching alias, which is getting sort of bleh now but at least it's killing time so very nicely. When I'm watching that I don't have to think...and after a while of watching alias I had my hair appointment. So when we get there I guess my mom knew the girl who was doing the nails there so they were talking. My appointment was at 17h30 and she started at about 17h45 so that's not to bad, Sydney was there too getting her hair done, which looked pretty, I'm just not fond of up do's though. Now major props for Stacey I have very very thick hair and she was blow drying it straight, and I thought she was at least going to smooth it out or something but no. So I was really really mad and I got home in tears and was trying to desperately make myself look presentable in the end you know I didn't win, I don't think I've ever looked worse than last night. But it's not really all that important, I mean the worst part was...his flight was at 19h30 last night...and I really missed him. He told me I couldn't go to the airport, even if I promised sexual favors in return (seriously don't take this wrong way it was a joke! And with our past you can never be too sure I'm just clarifying it) so I was stuck. I did have killer shoes though, or well I liked them, it's only the after-ness that sucks. But I thought of a new list
-My new List
Hellzyeah nothing's going to beat that title.
Evan- This is a really confusing one. In the past our has been somewhat of a romantic relationship, and I don't know about you but I very strongly regretted that and I don't want to try that again sometime soon. You are basically everything that keeps me sane, keeping me breathing, making sure I get what I want when I want it. Sure you spoil me, but sweetheart, living without you? That ought to be a sin. It might feel like it, but I promise this is not goodbye, I mean distance can't separate friends like us.
Joe- Yeah we are strictly friends. And we've talked about that again, if it becomes anything more, well I didn't plan on it. You're a really close friend of mine, and that's all I'd like it to be right now.
Todd- Well I don't know what we are. I'll tell you what I am, glad to be talking to you again. I know we said we didn't want to think about it right now, and that was as much my decision as it was yours, so I'm going to respect that and not say anything. Honestly I am confused but time will help
Jan- I'll admit for a time there I did want ours to be a romantic relationship, but that's over now. I like how we're just friends, sure you've won my heart and keep it, you've got a right to it, you are just as much a best friend to me as anyone else on this list. I don't want what we have to change, I really like the way things are right now, wholeheartedly, so screw it up and die. (I couldn't resist)
Jordan- Jordy definitely the hardest one. I don't know. I mean we never really talk anymore, and we're just so different. We're good friends, as far as being friends goes. But damn you're such a good kisser. So I'm not going to pass verdict on this one just yet.
I feel so so bad. I mean I just woke up feeling bad and as if that helped when I reached for the phone I realized I had no one to bitch to. I mean come on, no one wants to listen to a stupid little girl whine about looking bad last night and her feet being cold. I don't even know why Evan did, but I miss him. I guess I'll have to just wait for his call now...still though I know we said that it wasn't over, but it feels so over. I just...who do I tell? I guess I'll just have to take up writing in here more. That should be just dandy

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